The Adoption Wait

In August of 2018, Ryan and I got married. Ryan was recovering from a pelvic fracture, but we decided that we would start our family as soon as possible. I remember I stopped taking birth control and started tracking with an obnoxious number of apps and devices. In my late 30s, and having always dreamed of having a full table for family dinners, we were anxious for the happiness and memories ahead. A year later, in the beginning of the pandemic, we were meeting a specialist at Boston IVF offices. We both underwent numerous tests to evaluate our fertility and genetics. Everything looked normal, good even, but given how long we had been trying, we started fertility treatments.

Ryan gave me over 200 shots in my belly over the course of the next 18 months. I had bloodwork 6-10 a month and ultrasounds about 7 times a cycle. Ryan and I went through 3 complete IUI cycles and 4 IVF. I had 4 embryo transfers. I changed my diet, removed coffee and alcohol, had bi-weekly acupuncture, and read books daily as if the secret would be unveiled in their pages. We hoped like we have never hoped for anything. We we thought about the smallest factors and researched the dumbest things. With every negative result we held each other as best we could, and talked about what would, could and should come next.

We began researching adoption the week of our last embryo transfer. Regardless of the results that would inevitably follow in two weeks, I wanted to be a Mom. Ryan wanted to be a Dad. We were excited to attend adoption seminars and learn about many facets of the process and the triangle. We knew adopting would not be easy or fast but we started our home study process. We were excited and hopeful. We had been hoping for years at that point for some positive news. We talked to agencies, lawyers and consultants. They estimated we would wait a year or so for a match. However, the pandemic was changing a lot in the world, and that would also effect adoption.

We decided to start work with Angel Adoption. We are entering our 15th month, of our our 24 month contract, and are still waiting to be connected with a potential match. We have hired a lawyer and are ready.

Our journey to build a family has been a very, very long one. We dream about setting up a nursery, reading bedtime books and sharing our love of nature and adventure with a child. Keeping hope is a daily practice. We both stay busy with work, adventures and hobbies. However, we have a baby blanket that says, “From which stars have we fallen to meet each other here?” This Nietzsche quote seems more than fitting and we can’t wait for the day that we get to wrap a baby in this soft muslin. The wait and challenges we have faced will be worth it.

Are you considering and adoption plan for your baby? We would love to talk to you. Our hearts, mind and home are open and ready. Email hello@jessandryanadopt.com to connect with us.

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